About Me
Hi, I'm Julius and I've been battling anxiety and depression for almost a decade.
Not too long ago, my life felt impossible. Simple things like family dinners or doctor appointments would make me physically sick. I'd throw up before social events, fake injuries to escape my own birthday celebration, and spend holidays alone rather than face my anxiety.
I looked successful from the outside – good job in sales, athletic, put-together. But internally, I was drowning.
Today
The anxiety hasn't disappeared – I doubt it ever completely will. But I'm living again. I traveled to the Olympics in Paris. I drove 4 hours to see Sleep Token with a friend. I even completed a 7-hour tattoo session on my back – something that used to be impossible.
Why I write Online
For years, I hid. I was terrified of people discovering my struggles with anxiety and depression. What would they think? Would they see me as weak? Less than? A failure?
I built walls to protect this secret, but those same walls kept me trapped.
Writing online is my deliberate act of exposure. If I'm going to heal, I can't do it in the shadows. I'm done pretending everything's fine when it's not. Done acting like I have it all figured out when I'm still learning.
This terrifies me every time I hit publish. But that's exactly why I do it.
I write these notes first and foremost for me. To process, to track what's working, to keep myself accountable. But I share them because I believe in the power of real stories over perfect advice and because I know I am not alone.
No guru persona. No pretending I've arrived. Just the messy, real-time process of becoming who I am meant to be.
If that resonates with you, welcome to the journey.